When I am struggling in life (which is often, so I am good at this), I have learned to look in the mirror for answers.

Ugh! Everyone hates looking in the mirror. Why?

Remember when you were a kid and did something really bad? Then there was the moment you had to face your parents or the teacher or the principal. It was so hard to look them in the eye. We did not want to see that look of disappointment. We did not want to be judged as bad or wrong.

Interestingly, our most critical judge is not our parents or our teachers, it is ourselves. Thus, we don’t like to look into our own eyes in the mirror, because we know every little mistake we have ever made. We know all our shortcomings, even if they are invisible to others. We know how we are not living up to our potential. We can be pretty hard on ourselves. It is a human thing. We all do it.

Knowing that we are our own worst enemy is helpful. Unlike others who we cannot control, we can shift the way we view ourselves. Very few of us do this. I invite you to try really hard to start becoming your own best friend, and here is why. Our external world is a reflection of what is going on inside us. The only way to change what is happening in our external world is to shift our internal world. I don’t like to say change because that can be a harsh word implying something is “wrong.”

I used to struggle with the concept that I had any control over the crappy experiences I was having in life. I preferred to think I was unlucky, bad things always happen to me, and I deserved everyone else’s pity. Despite what my inner child is desiring, the adult me knows I need to take ownership of how I am thinking and behaving.

Feelings, on the other hand, fall into their own special category. I would not try to control your feelings; it is like herding cats. Knowing that feelings are feelings and that they are temporary states, is helpful. I have written to you about processing emotions before. Emotions are a wonderful source of information about what you need, not how you should behave.

Back to our mirror. It is true, like it or not, that our external experience mirrors our inner experience. Blurg! For example, if things are out of control in life, then they are out of control internally. This typically leads us to seek control wherever we can. Not a good thing.

If someone is surrounded by ungrateful people who take advantage, then the person does not value themselves or their contribution. I would bet money on it. If you don’t value yourself, why would anyone else. Like energy is attracting like energy.

If you are frustrated that your children are not respecting you, then look to see how you are not respecting yourself or others. There will be some issue with respect inside you, or you would be setting firmer energetic respect boundaries people would rarely cross. Once you resolve your internal struggle with respect, your children will likely stop toying with disrespect unless they have developed some habits over a long period of time. Then, the habit needs to be replaced by some more positive behavior. It is not impossible, hard, but not impossible. If you do not resolve your own internal respect issue, you are fighting a losing battle.

If you seem to be alone in the world, ask yourself how are you shutting the world out. Wildly happy and curious people are never lonely. Lonely people tend to have some deep fears that are in need of healing before they start attracting others. They may not even be conscious of how their fears are keeping people at a distance.

That is the key. You need to be conscious of what is happening inside you so you can work to let it go or choose something different. Until we really know what is going on inside us, we are helpless to experience anything different. Most of us are not great self-observers. It helps to look in the mirror, or just know that the mirror exists. So, when you really don’t like the experiences you are having in life, it is a sign to look at how you are thinking and feeling. You should find the reflection in your thoughts and feelings somewhere. If you cannot find them, then seek assistance. It is invaluable and the only way I know how to truly alter your own reality.

You really are the master of your own domain!